[song? ]
[mood? cynical]

sometimes, people are funny. people dont say what they mean because they dont want it to be true. but it is. and when you say it, they get upset.

for example. izzy said he was in love with me. and that he would wait until i came back to nj. that he wanted to be with me forever. and dont get me wrong, im HAPPY he moved on. but i was right. i TOLD him that he wouldnt do that. i TOLD him he should move on. and at the time, we had a big fight about it. he insisted that he would only ever love me. as im sure he did with alina. but i was right alllllll along. lol. good luck with rebecca, izzy. but dont lie to her, even if you want the lies to be true.

so yea. life in cali is interesting. everything is different. its strange for everything to be so unfamiliar. its weird to just go to school, and not have inside jokes, and not know funny stories about the ppl u hang with, and not know their favorite movie, and not know that Blank has been stalking Blank since ____. and all that. i hope i stay friends with the people in new jersey for the rest of my life. i really do wish. but somehow, i think that because we were friends so young, we'll easily grow apart. :( i really hope im wrong. and if we do remain friends, i hope i dont go back and change my memories of everyone.

as you get older, your perspective changes. and thats what im so afraid of.

i wish i could stay young forever. but alas, i cannot.

ps- FRANCIS! i miss you the most. i cant help it. no offense to anyone else! i just spent the most time with francis. all the time in cali, i went to turn around and comment on something, AND FRANCIS WASNT THERE!! *tear*

im so sentimental tonight. its 3:21 AM on JANUARY 1ST 2005 (here in guam). im just thinking of EVERYTHING thats happened in 2004. it was a good year.

it reminds me too, its another year closer to the end of the world. and this second, minute, hour, and day are just increments closer to the end of the world. on december 23, 2012. as predicted by the ancient Mayans, the creators of the modern lunar calender and the number 0.

[song? falling away from me- korn]
[mood? I HAVE TO PEE SO BADLY!!! :(]

yea... ok about my mood, i really have to pee. but im at my aunt gina's so i dont want to use the toilet cuz they have bad plumbing and bleh... i guess i'll have to eventually.... UNLESS... no. thats too gross.

anyway. so... yea. im here in guam for the holdidays. the plane trip was such a bitch. its a 16 hour flight from LA. ugh........ it blows.

its christmas eve here in guam... but its only the 23 there in the states so... whatever. i dont wanna go back to the states cuz i have a bunch of homework to catch up on.... X(

im not that excited about christmas. im away from my mommy and no one went christmas shopping.... hopefully i'll just get lots and lots of $$$$$$$$$$$. cash baby. ohhhh yeaaa. so... yea. thats all for now... im gunna go on aim and see if anyones on. :D