[song? californication]
[mood? reminiscent]

sometimes its really not the accuracy of the memory. it's the feeling the memory brings about in you.

the first day i heard dani california by rhcp i found out i was leaving california. i remember feeling like the part of my heart that had been completed by finding love and happiness there had just been torn out.

i remember the day i was shrooming and walking down wentworth ave to my friends house... coming down and thinking about leo. i felt this love swell in my heart and it felt like my chest was going to explode from complete happiness.

i remember coming back to jersey and feeling these horrible hooks through my shoulderblades for months like i was being physically torn, dwelling on all the love lost in cali.

i remember when i was introducing some 25 year old guy that i was gunna go party with to my mom as my friend's dad... and feeling free and reckless and stupid.

i remember when brittni sat in my room crying and asking me why life was so hard.... and realizing that my life would never be as difficult as hers, and that i had to do the best i could to help people who didnt have it as good.

they're all overwhelming feelings attached to memories. feelings i never want to forget because they changed my life and the way i see the world.